Tuesday, July 31, 2007

15 Biblical Ways To Get A Wifey

This is very funny! I hope nobody actually follows these biblical examples!!!!

It’s all good.

This cant be from the holy bible!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But It's really from the Bible

1. Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave herhead, trim her nails, and give her new clothes. Then she's yours.-- (Deuteronomy 21:11-13)

2. Find a prostitute and marry her.-- Hosea (Hosea 1:1-3)

3. Find a man with seven daughters, and impress him by watering hisflock.-- Moses (Exodus 2:16-21)

4. Purchase a piece of property, and get a woman as part of the deal.-- Boaz (Ruth 4:5-10)

5. Go to a party and hide. When the women come out to dance, grab oneand carry her off to be your wife.-- Benjaminites (Judges 21:19-25)

6. Have God create a wife for you while you sleep. Note: this willcost you a rib.-- Adam (Genesis 2:19-24)

7. Agree to work seven years in exchange for a woman's hand inmarriage. Get tricked into marrying the wrong woman. Then workanother seven years for the woman you wanted to marry in the firstplace. That's right. Fourteen years of toil for a woman.-- Jacob (Genesis 29:15-30)

8. Cut off 200 foreskins off of your future father-in-law's enemiesand get his daughter for a wife.-- David (I Samuel 18:27)

9. Even if no one is out there, just wander around a bit and you'lldefinitely find someone. (It's all relative of course.)-- Cain (Genesis 4:16-17)

10. Become the emperor of a huge nation and hold a beauty contest.-- Xerxes or Ahasuerus (Esther 2:3-4)

11. When you see someone you like, go home and tell your parents, "Ihave seen a ...woman; now get her for me." If your parents questionyour decision, simply say, "Get her for me. She's the one for me."-- Samson (Judges 14:1-3)

12. Kill any husband and take HIS wife. (Prepare to lose your sonthough).-- David (2 Samuel 11)

13. Wait for your brother to die. Take his widow. (It's not just agood idea, it's the law).-- Onan and Boaz (Deuteronomy or Leviticus, example in Ruth)

14. Don't be so picky. Make up for quality with quantity.-- Solomon (1 Kings 11:1-3)

15. A wife?...NO WAY!!!-- Paul (1 Corinthians 7:32-35

What ya think

4 comments:

30+ said...

I must say I love this quite some research you did there :)

AaaDee said...

very funny..dont follow any of these..or u ll be in mess :))

Fo said...

lol...u sure this from the bible?as in ALL of it???go re-check i beg...
xoxo

mystoriesmytestimonies said...

lol